An African Day

 My daytime gatekeeper/gardener had his traditional "Introduction Ceremony" last month. I was glad to be among his family and friends that escorted him to his lady's home village to be official "introduced" to her family.

In the midst of the 3 rounds of fake brides that march out, you always know when the real "bride" is in the lineup when you spot someone with diamonds in her hair.

Peter's beautiful fiancé, Barbra (in pink with the diamonds in her hair)

Sometimes my friends have asked ourselves (and each other), "What were they thinking when they decided the traditional dress should be one with very pointy shoulders, a big belt, 5 extra yards of fabric that you tie to your side, and a blanket you wear underneath the whole thing to make your bum look bigger?! And did they not realize that the men are really wearing a white man-dress?" Ha.

As with any dressing up, it is fun to do every now and then.
And people in the village LOVE seeing a mzungu, much less one in a gomesi (the traditional dress).

I spotted this cutie in the next tent and had to get a photo. 

And here they are... the fiancés. This is after Peter had to be "found" from among the crowd by his fiance's aunties. This is a sign that both sides have accepted the marriage proposition.

And an African day is not complete unless you have carried something on your head. 

Bringing the gifts Peter is giving to Barbra's family as a token of appreciation.
 I think I was carrying a basket of onions :)

Pamela's Introduction Ceremony

I have decided that I like introduction ceremonies much more than weddings. The wedding is the same expected thing and can last for quite some time (depending on how late the bride is and how long the pastor preaches). But introduction ceremonies are always slightly different from the last one.

First, and introduction ceremony is sort of like a huge engagements/meet the parents party. In the old days, the tradition was that the lady was bringing the man (for the first time) to meet her side of the family. He brings his whole side of friends and family as well. Traditionally, after the introduction the couple was then deemed as married-- though this is no longer the case with more modern couples and Christians. It is now just an official way for both sides of the family to say that the couple has their blessing to proceed in marriage.

Last week I had the privilege to attend Pamela's introduction ceremony. Pam is our clinical officer at LCH and has become a good friend of mine. This is her fiance Alex.

Pam was giddy a whole 2 weeks leading up to the event.

These are some of my co-workers and I, waiting for the grooms side to arrive. The appropriate attire for an introduction ceremony is the traditional gomas (the dresses with the pointy shoulders).

I also was able to bring my housemates along. They have never been to an introduction before, so we had fun getting all "africanized" in our fancy outfits. This was probably my 6th introduction to attend, and of all of them, Pam's was the best because the majority was in English. The MC for the Pam's side gave each of us local names and referred to us many times during the ceremony by our new names. Mine was "Adongo", meaning blessing (after having had twins).
The whole fun of the introduction is the friendly banter that goes on between the spokes-man for the lady and the man's side. As with customary Ugandan tradition, the man's side arrived late. Though the invitation said 1pm, they didn't show up until around 2:30pm. After paying a "fine" for being late, Alex's side proceeded in through the arch and remained standing until they were invited to sit down as Pam's guests.
Through more discussion between the MC's, we learn that Alex's side has come looking for a special lady that Alex would like. The MC for Pam's side says that he will call all the ladies of this house and they can point out which lady it is.

This was the first group of potential ladies that Alex is looking for.

The second group.

Obviously Pam is not in either group, so they call out the third group, being the older aunties.

And then finally, the fourth group, where Pam is at the back of the line.

The MC for Alex is looking carefully at each lady to see if the right one is there. And sure enough, she is. The lady that they have come for.

So the Aunties of Alex came with a basket of flowers to tell Pam that they have come on behalf of their "son" Alex to say that she is special and he would like to marry her. Pam accepted :)
Then the aunties to Pam go into the side for Alex in search of the young man that is seeking the hand of their "daughter" Pam. They look through the whole crowd.

And finally found Alex on the back row.

Then Pam is asked if this is the one and is brought to see Alex for the first time

There is some more friendly banter between the MCs of both sides and then Pam come out in a different outfit for the second half of the ceremony. She is the one looking down in green.

Alex waiting on his couch under the tent for his family.

A preacher comes up and they gives rings to one another as a token of their commitment to one another and then the cake is cut.

It is tradition here that the person in celebration (whether introduction, wedding, or birthday) is the one to serve cake to all their guests.

I was able to jump into a photo with these beautiful ladies.

The introduction ceremony is also the time when the man's side brings the dowry and gifts for the family of the bride-to-be. So the members from Alex's side went to the cars to collect all the gifts they had brought for Pam's parents and relatives.



As the gifts come, it is tradition for the lady to just look on- somehow seeing her worth to the man.

Where Pam is from, it is customary to give 7 cows and 7 goats as dowry. Then there are gifts added onto that dowry. Gifts range from bags of sugar, to crates of soda, to suitcases, to baskets of fruits and vegetables, to couch sets, to fridges, to lanterns, to the thigh of a cow (like shown below)

After gifts for the bride's family, they give out whole cakes to the important parties, like parents of each, the pastor, and even LCH got a cake.

Alex, Pam, and me

Co-workers and housemates: Michael, Me, Glenn, Lissa, Emily, Jennifer, and Enoch

The kids and teachers with Pam

Overall, it was a wonderful day. We had lots of fun, and ate a huge feast at the end of the day. We are all eager to attend her wedding.

Masaka

May 10, 2009
It is not everyday that one gets to pass over the Nile River AND the Equator in one weekend. Well, that is one of the beauties of Uganda. I did both this weekend, twice. On Friday morning I loaded the van with Mama, Glenn, Sylvia, and Abu (the driver) and headed to West-Central Uganda to a place called Masaka. We were going for a family member’s introduction ceremony (the ceremony that is like a type of engagement party) BUT this time they also did the wedding on the same day. In all honesty it seems like a more convenient and cost effective way- to introduce your fiancé (mostly just a long-term culture) and the actual wedding. But it did make for a very long time.

Of course in Africa, time is always on your side, even if it is an official ceremony. So the morning started off only 3 hours late. After getting ready fully (all dressed up in our gomas) then we drove about 45 minutes to a village where the bride’s family is from to be greeted with music and 3 tents full of people.
The ceremony went on, though it was interesting that this was a Muslim reception so there were lots of Islamic greetings. It was quite a long ceremony (we arrived at around 2 and left at 9pm) but here are some highlights:

- The whole ceremony was in Luganda (language) so I didn’t want to over disturb Glenn to translate for me. But there was a time that Glenn turned to me and said that the entertainer had said he spotted a beautiful girl in the crowd that he wants to introduce to everyone to see if she is worthy to marry. Glenn laughed and said, “Nat, I bet he is coming for you.” I didn’t want to assume, but it was highly likely, seeing that I was the only Mzungu (white person) there. Sure enough he started coming closer and reached my isle. Running through my head I said, “Put your shoes on quickly. Oh no, why me? I wish I just blended in. What am I going to do? And in front of ALL of these people?” Glenn and Mama just laughed as the entertainer grabbed my hand and brought me front and center. I did a little dancing while everyone was laughing, cheering, and doing the African call. I could have been embarrassed but just chose to embrace the situation. There is a custom here that when people enjoy someone’s singing or dancing they will bring that person money, so sure enough, my dancing earned me 5000 shillings.


- Dowery is very real and stills a practice here in Africa. I was so surprised though to see the immense extent of dowry that the groom was paying for the bride… 40 baskets of food, 3 sacks of flour, 10 huge bulls, 25 crates of soda, an entertainment stand, and many other things. Really it was the most I have ever seen. Things just kept coming and coming.

(The cakes were so interesting... shaped like a sause pan with banana leaves covering it and sitting on firewood AND like awomba (the way they boil chicken in banana leaves) )




When it was time for lunch (7pm-ha) I was told not to go through the line to get food with everyone else, but instead I was to be a guest of the groom in the main house. When I entered we sat on mats on the floor (not cross-legged but like drill team girls) and waited for what was next. While I was waiting for food, I got to witness the actual vows of the wedding. BUT, the bride was nowhere to be seen in the room. To my surprise the groom and his groom’s men were on one mat and the brother of the bride and other uncles were on another mat. The Islamic teacher said some customary words and then the brother of the bride and the groom joined thumbs and said the vows. From my understanding, this is because the brother has been having the hand of the sister in the family and now is passing the hand off to the groom. When they finished, the food was served and I was very hungry and grateful.




- We left the introduction ceremony at 8:30pm to head back to Masaka town, change into our party dresses, and go to another hotel for the wedding reception. Needless to say, it was a long night. We arrived at our hotel around 12:30am.

- Random story about Masaka (but not about the introduction): People like to eat grasshoppers. But it is not easy to chase around hundreds of hopping grasshoppers to make some sort of a living. But people have gotten clever. They station large metal drums in an area near a large light. Then they put iron sheets in the drums, so that when the grasshoppers fly to the light, then land among the iron sheets and can’t catch a grip, so they slid down into the metal drums. Clever, I must say.

We had a nice time, all in all. We ate lots of food, got to see relatives, danced, and experienced culture. I was grateful for the safety that the Lord granted. Please don’t forget to continue to pray for safety as I travel on unsafe roads everyday and to pray for my health (seeing as I got mild food poisoning this past week for the second time since I have come back). Thanks for all your support.

Introduction ceremony…

I really feel like I have been initiated into society now because I have now been to the pre-wedding introduction ceremony. This was such a unique experience that I feel like my words and photos will fail me to fully portray what all happens and what all it means.

First off, the introduction ceremony is where the bride’s family hosts the grooms family (and friends) for the official meeting of the 2 sides. It is following the tradition of the old village ways. In the past, before the institution of church marriage was established, it was after this introduction ceremony that the couple was declared married and she would leave her family that night to go stay in his home. Well today, it is a little different, seeing as the official church marriage ceremony is important for believers here. But the main purpose of the introduction ceremony now is to bring together the family and friends of both sides, to pay the bride price (yes this is still something practiced here, whether in the village or the town), and to offer gifts to the brides family.

I will pause a little because you might be thinking… the bride’s family? Counter to American tradition, it is the groom who plans and pays for the bride and the wedding. The culture here say that since the parents have spent much time, effort, and money in raising and training the woman up to keep her own house one day, and since the groom is taking a hard worker from the father’s home, then he must pay. Like a re-compensation. So, the usually bride price is about 2-5 cows and some goats. And like I said gifts are also given to the bride’s family in appreciation. Things such as baskets of fresh produce, a lantern, crates of soda, a hoe, sack of rice, salt to last for a long while… the list goes on.

So, back to the ceremony… I went on the side of the groom because he is one of the pastors here. There were about 70 of us that went. For the ceremony, each side has an MC that represents the bride or groom, or their family. First off, all things are in good fun at this ceremony, but things can seem a little bazaar if you don’t know that. The groom’s side gathered together to receive “instructions” before we boarded the taxis to drive to the village, Peteti. Here were a few of the rules:

- the MC is the only one to talk for the family

- When we first arrive, we need to walk in humbly

- Those not wearing “gomas” (the traditional dress with big shoulders) must stand in the back because we are going to cause him much trouble for not being in proper attire (and that would be me and one other girl)

- Do not sit down when you first get to you seat, only when they officially invite us to sit

Again, all of this is in good fun, but these rules are established to avoid “fines” that the brides family might give. But you go in knowing that it is like a game and you bring money to pay the “fines”

So, like anything in Africa that has to do with time, the grooms side arrived late. We stood outside the fence while our MC was negotiating our late arrival and the “fine” it would cost us. There were many people sitting under big party tents from the brides side. Everything was decorated nicely with blue and white ribbons and everyone was dressed in the traditional wear. I like that a lot.

The best way to describe the ceremony is as if they were acting and putting on a sort of play. Once we were officially invited to sit down, the bride’s MC told us that they were in the middle of a clan meeting to discuss a new school but we have come late for the meeting so really there was no reason for us to remain. Our MC talked and explained that there was another reason we had come. Then through some more friendly banter our MC told the other MC that we had come for a bride.

From there things got even more interesting. The bride MC went to get the girls in the house that we might have come for. The first group to come out, so that we can choose which girl we had come for (mind you that the real bride and groom have been in a courtship relationship for a while so this is NOT a pre-arranged marriage- only part of the fun of the ceremony). So the first group of girls came and were very young, around 6

years. Our MC said that none were the one, so we had to pay a “transport fee” to go to the next village to get some other girls that the bride might be among. This proceeded about 5 times… the young girls, then teenagers, then girls my age, then grandmothers, then there were some ladies that left for another country (for pretend) so we brought them and they were the aunties. Then the final group of girls, our last resort, were brought from a neighboring country and the bride was among them. The aunties said that they recognized us and that she knew us. So we were officially welcome to the “clan meeting” and were then served sodas. (I really hope you are following this at least a little bit.)

Since the aunties recognized us and knew the groom, to prove, they had to find the groom, who was “hiding” in the back of our group. When they found him they brought him out from our tent and put him in the seat of honor (a couch) in the front. Then the groom’s aunties had to go among the last group of girls and point out the bride.

Among other things, there was also a time for the grooms side to present the gifts we brought and for each member of the family to be introduced to the brides side of the family. All in all it was very entertaining. It also seemed like every child living in the village gathered around to on look. At the end of all the talking, presenting, and introducing, the bride a groom cut a cake and then we were served “lunch” (at 6:30pm).

I attached a few photos of the young “fake brides”, me carrying a gift to present, and a sample of the traditional wear. It was a very fun experience and I hope to be invited to another.