When car searching led to a morning full of tears…

 A normal morning last week started out well.

I was strong and proud, feeling independent and capable. I was collecting information about new terms and details that 9+ years in Africa had left me only mildly aware of. I was feeling confident about my preferences that I was discovering that I wanted in a car. I was even feeling hopeful that I might get a better deal than first expected.

As I wrote out my findings in an email to my Dad, the master of all deal-finders, I suddenly had tears rolling down my cheek, each moment led to more at a faster pace (truth be told, even as I am writing this now, my eyes are brimming with tears). And then the gentle sobs of a grieving heart began, again.

You see, after 9 years of a beautiful life of love and service to the Lord in Uganda, I have said “YES” to the Lord’s leading, once again, only this time it is moving back to America (for good- at least for now). This step of obedience comes with a whole variety of emotions:

-       grateful for the Lord’s kindness and patience: this decision has been about a 2 year process and I am so thankful that in God’s kindness He has not abruptly asked me to leave but has allowed my heart and mind the time to catch up with the idea

-       sadness (oh such great sadness) that I will no longer share everyday life with my precious children/teenagers at Lulwanda

-       torn that America and Africa are just so far away from each other- how will I stay in touch with my Ugandan family at Lulwanda?

-       overwhelmed by the many details/decisions and more so the various options available for fulfilling those details: case in point- last week’s car search

-       peace in my decision of obedience to go: The Lord has been teaching me that just because it is hard, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it.

-       thankfulness that though I find tears flowing at least at some point in each day, the tears come from love: being loved well and also loving well.

-       Proud and victorious: I am grateful that I leave Lulwanda in peace, with peaceful relationships, as I see the Lord still moving and growing the Lulwanda family through more children and more missionary support. I have stood in stormy seasons and I have stood in peaceful seasons and there is nothing “chasing” me from Uganda, but I only walk in obedience to the Lord. Many have asked me, “but why, why now?” My answer is obedience. To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven. Just as I came to Uganda in obedience, like Abraham went to a foreign land, leaving his family, home, and friends, I also came. And now just in the same way, I am again obeying the Lord as He says to go into a new unknown.

-       Humbled: Of all the many believers in the world, the Lord chose me to bestow the special and unique gift of the inseparable mixture of life and ministry in Uganda and directly carrying out his heartbeat of caring for orphans.

-       Surrender and Confidence: I am not anyone’s savior. The Lord has always been the Keeper of all of these children. I have had the privilege to play a role in helping raise them and encourage them in faith, BUT it has and always will be the Good Father that keeps them.

-       Nervousness mixed with anticipation: I am a planner and can’t help but think through all the details. Though I do not yet know the details of what the Lord has prepared for me in Texas, I am confident that I am returning to the FULLNESS of what He has for me.

-       Hopeful: Thanks to a few people speaking great words of Truth and encouragement to me during my sabbatical, I am confident that this is not an “ending” of my life of ministry, but the next step. As one person said to me, “You have been faithful in the small and big in Uganda. The Lord is not bringing you back to America for a cake walk.” Amen.

So with hands literally outstretched in surrender as I sat weeping on my bed last week, my heart and voice said,

“Thank you Lord for the privilege of loving you and serving you.”

“Thank you for a willing heart of surrender to whatever you have for me.”

“Thank you that Love drives these tears.”

“Thank you that you go before me and know all the details of what is next.”

“Thank you that in You, my life always has purpose and meaning.”

“Thank you that You are good and trustworthy.”

“Thank you that you are the same God, my Provider, in both Uganda and America.”

“Yes Lord. I continue to say, “Yes.”

These might seem like simple statements and searching for a car and insurance, etc., might seem like simple tasks, but in the mix of a transition they are heavy with not just the practicality of the task but the heart emotions: a continued surrender; a continued trust in the faithfulness of the Lord; a continued declaration of Truth; a continued check on emotions so I am not just in denial and that I end well; a continued grounding to the moments NOW and not the anxiety of the days to come; a continued capturing of my thoughts to make sure they are true, right, good, pure, lovely, and worthy of praise; a continued mental list to assure that I “forget not all His benefits”.

So, I am asking for your prayers in this transition. I fly out October 10, 2016.
That is 9 years, 5 months, and 8 days from the first day I stepped on Ugandan soil and fell in love with the children of Lulwanda (May 2, 2007).

In a very practical sense, there are some things that I need prayer for- whether wisdom, direction, connections, or help.

-       - I have my dad on the task of searching for a car. May it be a good deal and just what I need (and quickly found so that I can have wheels when I reach Texas).

-       - Pray for the best option of heath insurance to be clear and affordable.

-       - My parents have graciously offered for me stay with them the first few months that I move back. But I will eventually need to find a place of my own and will need to fill that house with things. This is an overwhelming thought.

-       - Pray that God would be preparing a group of friends in my season of life that I would find quickly. I am so grateful for my church small group I have in Burnet, but that likely will not be my final landing spot/city.

-       - I have been encouraged to attend a missionary debriefing conference a few months after arriving in country. Please pray for an open spot in the perfect session for me and for the finances to be able to attend.

-       - Pray that I would know how to specifically love and honor each of my friends and children here and how to say goodbyes well. And pray BIG with me, that I would have the opportunity to return to Uganda at least once a year to visit my family here.

-      -  I am likely looking for a job in ministry or with an Non-profit or something to do with missions/missionary care. Do you maybe know of something that would suit me?

o   I love people. I am good at planning and programing. And I have a heart for the less fortunate

-       - In order to start applying for jobs, I need a modernized and memorable resume. Do you know anyone that can help me with this?

Some people have asked me if I am excited to be returning. Honestly, not yet. As I mentioned, I am peaceful but sad. I shared this article with my family that helps to capture the mixture of thoughts and feelings on repatriating into ones’ home culture.  

READ the ARTICLE HERE

I know the Lord is with me in this journey. I feel His nearness and it is surely my good.

Behind the Scenes at the Entebbe Zoo

After arriving back in Uganda from Zanzibar, Melanie and I had 24 hours until she was to catch her flight to America for her furlough. We were able to cram in one more adventure...


Behind the scenes Entebbe from Natalie Rolfe on Vimeo.

Uganda is good for... COFFEE!!

Uganda is known for many things, but one of the great things is Arabica coffee. About a year ago Starbucks even got ahold of some of the wonderful coffee grown on the cliffs of Mt. Wanale at Sipi Falls. This is practically my backyard! 

Daily my morning starts with delicious Masaba coffee that is grown and roast right here near Mbale. But I never knew how much went into getting my coffee from a fruit on a tree to the deliciousness in my mouth. 

I was able to visit a village church with two of my friends. We drove about an hour and through many pot-holed roads until we reached the Pastor's home. We were warmly and joyfully welcomed and led inside to this delicious spread.

Chappati (like a tortilla but more delicious because it is fried), avocado, and freshly roasted and ground "African" coffee (meaning it is mostly made with milk)

Again, I said we were joyously welcomed. Uganda has such a great culture of hospitality!

After finishing our breakfast, we proceeded next door to the local church to join them for Sunday "prayers". We were seated at the front of the church, as guests of honor. And my friend, Eric, was the guest preacher, but not before many wonderful songs led by the church choir.

I love that you often see produce or chickens given as an offering in the village.

Just as the sermon was ending, a torrential downpour came.

 

Since the rain didn't seem to be letting up anytime soon and the ladies and children of the church were playing drums, singing praises, and dancing to pass the time, I suggested to my friend, Malinda, that we should join them in the dancing. Everyone went wild to see two mzungus dancing (Mzungu is what I am called on a daily basis- meaning white person). They loved it and many others joined in with us.

Once the rains subsided, church was released and our coffee tour began. 

Step 1: Harvest the red beans from the coffee trees

 

Step 2: Pour the beans into a machine that separates the parchment from the actual coffee bean.

Step 3: Turn the wheel because this is all done locally with manual labor.

The end result is a slimy coffee bean. But this is by far not the end of the process.

Step 4: (not pictured) Soak the slimy coffee beans for 24 hours in a basin of water to allow for the "fermentation" process. This gets off the slimy coat.

Step 5: (not pictured) Lay the new non-slimy beans in the sun (on a tarp) for about three days, unless it is rainy season- then you will need longer for them to dry out.

Step 6: Pound your dry beans to remove an outer "husk" that is on the beans.

Step 7: Winnow the beans to remove the chaff.

This photo shows the difference between the beans before being pounded and winnowed (in the Ugandan's hand) and the beans after pounding and winnowing (in my hand).

Step 8: Time for roasting!! Heat up the saucepan and pour in the ready beans.

Stir constantly while roasting so the beans don't burn.

Almost there. You want it to be a beautiful dark color and 

start having the aroma's of your morning brew.

Step 9: Winnow one more time to assure that any chaff that was loosened by roasting is not in your beans.

Mmm... and there it is. Delicious Arabica coffee grown in Uganda. But there is still one more step, the tenth step to make the process complete.

Step 10: Pounding the beans into very fine grounds.
Step 11: Enjoy.

We actually drank the coffee that we had roasted. It has never tasted so good. 

As we left the village after a wonderful day, we were given some parting gifts. 

(Not only are Ugandans extremely hospitable, they are also extremely generous).

Apple bananas, a hen, and a bag of avocados

And we drove off from a wonderful day in the village with beautiful brother and sisters in Christ (and more knowledge and appreciation for my daily cup of joe).

Mbale Main Hospital

Most of life in Uganda is fairly the same as life in America, maybe just with a different backdrop or social norms. Everyone wants the most for their family, works hard for daily provisions, and seeks out a deeper meaning of life, on top of the daily things like eat, work, socialize, and sleep. But there are other things that are just so drastically different from the American standard, for example- medical care. Medical care is provided free from the government in Uganda. But this statement sounds a lot better than the actual deal. Though services are free, often you have to come with your own bedsheets, mosquito net, and medical supplies and purchase your own drugs for nurses to administer. Hospitals are not sterile, white walled environments with strict HIPA protocol, but instead often look like this:

Open air hallways from one ward to the next. Everyone must bring their own attendant (maybe a mother or sibling or auntie) that will prepare and serve you food, help you, and even sleep on a reed mat by your bed your whole hospital stay. 

Personally, the conditions are still a bit shocking whenever I visit Main Hospital. Medical personnel are stretched thin caring alone for multiple people per ward. And adding to the shock is the fact that I can just wander into the hospital and patients will share freely what their ailment is and how I can pray for them. (There was one time I was visiting an Auntie from LCH that had a minor operation and her IV had run out of fluids but we had not seen a nurse since we had arrived an hour ago. Someone finally went to find one to come help and when she arrived at the bed she looked at me, handed me a new IV fluid, and said very seriously, "Here, start this new IV." To which I responded, "Madame, I am not a medical professional. I don't know how."

I have visited Mbale Main Hospital twice recently. 

My friend Nambozo had her second baby. The last time we talked on the phone she had told me, "Natalie, expect a call from me anytime that I have produced." Sure enough, about one week later I got a call around 8:30am. I asked if she had good news for me and she proudly announced that she had delivered a healthy baby boy, James. I got to the hospital around 9am to visit her and to my surprise I found her outside in the corridor, waiting in line for the baby's first immunizations. 

Nambozo with her mom (behind her) and her neighbor who had cared for her throughout the night during labor pains

Mamas in line waiting for immunizations.

To my surprise, I learned that Nambozo had held off pushing throughout the night, though labor pains were intense, until the morning sun rose and she was able to find and sit on a boda (a motorcycle taxi) and get to the hospital. She arrived at 7am, was given a bed, and then heard the cry of her baby by 8am. Now it was 9am and she had been discharged! What?!! She explained that it had been a normal delivery and there were other people needing her bed in the ward so the doctor discharged her. 

Praise God that He is the Maker, Creator, Life Giver, Protector, and Sustainer. And praise God for baby James. What a privilege to hold him in his first hour of life and to pray the Lord's blessings over him. 

Baby James
April 28, 2016

The second visit to Main Hospital was when I was escorting one of my dear friends, Favour, to see her "auntie" that had been her care-giver and attendant last year when Favour underwent major surgery. This was my first time to meet Auntie Janet, but I wanted to thank her for caring for my friend when she was sick and return the blessing of visiting her while she was bedridden until her hip set (due to car accident she was in). Culturally, it is important to visit family and friends when they are "sick".

I am not sure why I expected this auntie to be in her own room (you can get a private room if you can pay for it), but she was not and was in a ward for people with broken legs... car accidents, falling out of a tree, getting "knocked" (hit) by a boda on the way to school.

Auntie Janet

Auntie Janet's mother who was caring for her.

Lord bless these people. My heart went out to them. Since their legs are in traction until they are set properly, they are bedridden for weeks on end. How BORING!!! And there is not even a dream of having a television in every room. So literally they just lay there or sit up all day and do almost nothing. I can't even imagine how bored I would be.

Before Favour and I left that day we prayed for Auntie Janet and the other four children in the room. We ended our visit by singing Jesus Loves Me and the children came to life. Huge smiles wrapped  across their faces and waist up - arm swaying - dance moves were seen from every bed. I knew I had to go back and I knew just the person to ask to come with me... Lilly (the Palmer's daughter). 

Lilly got busy right away packing a bag of dolls and books and other things to give to the children and do while we were there and could barely wait for the next day when we were meant to go. (She has such a heart of gold... so sweet). We went to the market and supermarket to bring some food items, fruit, soda, and cookies to share with them. We also stopped by the stationary store to buy colored pencils and an art book for everyone to have.

Expecting only Auntie Janet and the four children, we were surprised to find two additional children there (and many of their caretakers). Lilly shared that she too had fallen out of a mango tree and broken her leg, but that God is the Healer and she can now move fine.

We read a story to the children and made sure each of them could see the pictures well.

We also played pictionary (of sorts) and let each child draw and then showed it to all the rest to guess what it was. They loved drawing and could have continued for hours.

If but only for a couple of hours, I hope that we brightened the day of all who were in the ward (and maybe gave them a few ideas of how to pass the time).

Rats!!

Because it is worth sharing (again for some of you)….

After a month of living at Tendo in May, I came home to some unwelcome visitors who had taken up nightly residence. (YUCK!!)

So, after some locally made rat traps failed me, I went to the "expert trap."

And it worked. 

BUT, there was just one problem…

Sticky traps are just that- sticky- not deadly. 

So, I was left with a problem.

And then this happened...

(But first this picture is necessary to understand my side)

 (Some friends question my logic, but it still seems to make sense to me… 

surely the bleach fumes would poison it, right?!)

Simple Acts of Love

During first term I went for visitation day to St. Paul’s College to visit some of our secondary students who attend boarding school there. While we were all standing around chatting, I noticed there was a boy who was lingering around our van. After a few minutes, I looked up and smiled at him. He then came over and said, “Auntie, do you remember me?”

I meet many people and his face looked a bit familiar but I couldn’t place it. I asked him how I knew him. “You carried me when I was little at St. Kizito’s.” I then remembered him clearly. His name is James.

James is on the far right.

Allan, me, and James (now in Senior One)

Throughout the years I have had the opportunity to take small groups of the Lulwanda children to a local babies home called St. Kizito. Here we spend a few hours holding the little ones and playing with the older ones. It is a double win because these babies get stimulation and special attention that they might not have, while my LCH children are able to interact with little ones and offer their service and love, instead of always being on the receiving end.

Many of the children placed at St. Kizito have lost their mother either while birthing that child or soon afterwards. This means that there is usually a father or relative who want the newborn, but are unable (or too overwhelmed) to properly care for the child. So, they are placed at St. Kizito to be taken care by the Sisters (of the Catholic church) until they are a bit older and can be returned to their relatives. 

This means that throughout the years I have seen many children come and go. It is very uncommon for me to return and the same children to be there. But certain children have no one to go to and remain throughout their childhood. James was one of these children and is now in Senior One class and friends with some of our Lulwanda Children.

I have also gotten to watch sweet Jane grow in age (but barely in size) over the years. It is a miracle she is still alive, in my opinion. She has cerebral palsy. Pray for the Lord’s perfect will and help over her life. And that Jesus would daily be her closest friend.

Jane last week (8 years old)

Jane in 2009 (about 2 years old)